Twenty TwentyTwo.

2022; Started with diagnosis of Tuberculosis (Tb) and I take it as a sign that I needed a break. By March I really cant cope with everything. Too exhausted. Even though I only had to comply with my medications and treatments, go for regular check-ups, watch out for my food intake/diet and exercises, but to be living with the sickness (always coughing and consistent fatigue), and at the same time wearing other hats (mom, wife, employee, daughter, etc), it was extra challenging (and painful). I really cannot do it all 😭 

So I decided to eliminate (sacrifice) my work (career) for the time being. Berbekalkan konsep YOLO, satisfied that all my loans are cleared, dan restu suami, I submit my resignation letter. 

Last working day was in July and now it has been 6 months of this career break. Wah! I cannot believe it myself. I had the best boss and team (ni bukan bodek, tapi kalau nak senaraikan kebaikan dan kelebihan yang dapat masa bekerja, mungkin orang kata kita tak bersyukur sebab berhenti di saat ekonomi genting macam ni) but I have my limits too. Also this guilt in me that bila dah tak boleh perform, tak focus dengan kerja, asyik delay, asyik kena ambil cuti, emergency urus anak, stress, workload, fikiran jadi kacau. For me at that time, thats it. Its better for me to quit and focus on recovery, treatment (myself) and also family. 

Sekarang dah fleksibel sikit, dah takde stress kerja (tapi stress dengan keadaan semasa/ rutin harian tu tetap ada), boleh buat apa saja suka hati, boleh baking dan jual cookies. Tapi jauh di sudut hati, rindu juga kerja korporat. Bulan December ni patutnya genap 10 tahun menjadi wanita bekerjaya. 

Tahun ni juga dapat “healing” pergi bercuti ke Cameron Highlands, Kuala Terengganu & Kuantan, Kuala Selangor. Dapat juga jalan-jalan kat Melaka dan Genting Highlands. Dapat makan sedap dan rasanya dapat mengopi paling banyak tahun ni. First time juga dapat belanja family makan daging wagyu. 

In mid April we were down with Covid. Masa tu memang musim juga la ramai sangat pun dah terkena. Imagine the mental load sebab kena kuarantin, sambil kena work from home with the kids. I remember pagi tu ada meeting jam 9am and I tested positive around 8am (demam dan batuk) and I needed to present, kena gigihkan juga sebab dah prepare. 

Its the year that I actually get up and try again. Many things have changed, yang I pun tak sangka it leads to me having mental breakdown. Whether its Covid/ lockdown, or me becoming a mother of two, or the work stress, or the Tb, or maybe other factors but they came at the same time that really pulled my triggers. But I want to say thank you for the help and support especially from hubby and those around me, family and friends, I manage to take one step at a time. 

I look forward to 2023, I believe there will be lots of surprises await. Semoga dapat kerja yang lebih baik, semoga dapat teruskan jadi isteri dan mommy yang hebat, semoga dapat travel lebih banyak, semoga ramai orang beli cookies, semoga terus sihat kuat dan tak ada sakit lagi. Amiin ramai-ramai.